it might just all be a facade

Monday, February 27, 2006;

♥ 2/27/2006 07:57:00 AM

i always look back
as i walk away
this memory will last
for eternity>>

dumdeedum. for once, i shall make my midnight post a happy one. (:
went for tuition in the mornin. ahhas. surprisely, tutor could actually smile and talk and crap. ohh! her pain is all gone! hahahas.
afterwhich, went to 2 temples. to pray and pray. (:
den went to val's house. meet yenyee and nirma. hahas! goodness. i tell u smth damn MALU. i mistook her brother as her dad, as i went in like hellos! den he look'd up, i was like, oh shucks. urghhh. but anyways, we went into her bro's room and start'd and nirma yenyee start'd the project. while val was busy readin my phone's inbox. -.- i was, erms, ~~slackin~~. bleahhh. i tell you, yenyee is a hell load of CRAP! hahahas. dont see her like nvr talk, very quietly. once u know her well enough, shes a joker! hahas. stupid girl! ARR-BISHHH! and val! the next time im goin your hse, im so gonna clear and delete the msges from my inbox. ahhas. oh yes i will.
after the project, the 3 of us left and i went to nirma's hse. hahas. saw prince, the dog. ((: dumdeedum, nirma and i ston'd in front of the com for a while, before we decide'd for em to go home and research while she continuin the finish the ppt. ahhahas. so tt explains the fact tt im online since six plus til now.
hmms. tryin to do amaths now. but i cant get a single shit rights. mann, i feel friggin irritatin. urghhhh. ): and my gastric pain is so very ultra super duper uncomfortable. ~~dammit~~.

becos i know there are many out dere who are more than willing to lend me your ears. but im sorrys. somehow, somewhat. i jus find it so tough to speak to anyone bout this. cos no one will understand how i feel deep inside. no one ever does. and i guess tts why i have to bottled everything up inside.
it jus felt so terrible inside. really. ~~had a great cry last night~~. i woke up with puffy eyes, but really. i feel better, much more better.
~~dont tell me this is my ONLY way of gettin things out.~~

for once
my blade thirst
again;

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Sunday, February 26, 2006;

♥ 2/26/2006 08:38:00 PM

love is a strange and funny thing>>

i dunno wat came over me
and how on earth could i actually have this kind of feelins inside of me
the feelin tt makes u just burst into tears and sob
the feelin tt ripped your heart into a million pieces
and that you will feel so awful lousy and terrible inside
and you jus wanna cry your heart out
to jus burry your head upder your blanket and cry
i came upon my dairy
and i was stupid enough to open it and read it
i was initially feelin okay
but as i read on
the tears came flowin down
and it felt as though im out of love again
cos if you EVER realis'd
today's 26.
one day i think i will rmbr forever.
URGHHH
im so not gonna be involved in love this yr.
so not gonna be.
FULLSTOP.

please
gimme a VALID reason to hate you;

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

;

♥ 2/26/2006 06:15:00 AM

still somehow
i just want to shout it out
every single damn thing
and in the end
will you even understand
do you actually know>>

let start the post by sayin wat happen'd ytd.
hahahas. we start'd off the weekly friday meeting with the exco all in the redcross room and singin the chinese oldies ALOUD. HAHAS! =p next was homevisit. sang the songs. den reach'd orange valley le. went in. OMG! everything seems rather awkward in the beginning. with us standin around not knowin how to start the programme. and the old folks lookin at us with their curious stares. =X
but then, as things goes on, situtaion got better. hahas. so the songs was sang by us. and blahblahblah. after which, we had interaction time. goin around talkin and communicatin witht the old folks. hahas. yuming maam, joanne maam, xf and i went HIGH, startin holdin onto the mike, sitting on the stage and sang all kinds of songs we know. HAHAHAHA! =X but yeas, i went to talk to this old folk who spoke in i-dunno-wat, simple, i couldnt understand her though i really tried hard. as yea, one junior told me to jus nod my ehad, and i did jus tt. ahhas. ((: soon, we gotta go. ): seeing those simple and happy smiles tt are print'd onto their faces, makes me really really happy.
afterwhich, went redcross room to get some fa stuff, WHEN WHEN WHEN yongzhi came and said theres a casualty. hahas. so ii grab'd a firstkit aid and dash'd out of the room. lol. with carissa behind. hmms. EEWKS! toe nail half came off, and yea. hes so acting strong. hahas. so went up to PA room after tt for contact.
den we got slippted up for the different programmes. hmms. total defence with sec 3/4/5s when suddenly, yenyee and ms tai came towards me and said theres a casualty outside com lab on forth level, and first aiders are need'd. hahas. so carissa and i RAN to the forth level when i got told tt the casualty was pearlyn. so erm. yea. carissa and i got up there first, when leon brandon joanne yuliang simon arriv'd next. yea, so step by step, we stretcher'd her down to the first level. when the teachers start'd fussin over her. gosh. -.-
so seein tt we are no longer needed, hahas, we went back to the various venues and start'd fa lesson. hahas. gee. have i ever mention'd this: i LOVE LOVE LOVE cpr!! ((x
after tt, went up to the com lab with val and jacq, to settle the design thingy. bleahhh. ): im not happy. seriously. hmms
but still, SIGHHHHS.

today!
got up, start'd lookin thru the packin list. hahas! after much much naggin from my mum. hehe. =X
afterwhich, i got my injection. like OUCH. )): i HATE injections. frowns.
so meet up with the HARDWORKIN jacq, who was mugging, at the busstop. hahas! den zx call'd to say he cant make it. erms, the next thing i know, we were at queensway! hahas. first, the hunt for shops to print the service learnin tee. ahhas FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY, we got a shop and yepp! the hunt is over. ((x
den we start'd shoppin. hahas. hmms. jacq want'd this nike sweater at first, but no size. so she went for this adidas jacket. BUT! in the end she din get it, cos i mention'd tt she suits the nike one more. hahas. saw this rather nice orange-white nike sweater. hahas. hmms. den we walk'd and walk'd straight into this billabong shop. ahas. and guess wat? both of us took one jacket each almsot immediately. ahhas. and den we were told tt the one shes holdin is the best seller, while the one im holdin onto is the latest one. hahahas! ((x mann. we've got great great great taste! hahas. the next thing i know, JACQUELINE LEE IS HOLDIN AND TRYIN ONTO ANOTHER JACKET!! hahas. and after much much much thoughts, she manag'd to finally decide on one. hahas. hmms. den we went to get tea-leaf-egg or smth liddat. when someone hit my inject'd arm. URGHHHH. but yea. hahahahahas. i got the jacket i want'd. ((x thanks zhengxian! (: guess wat? this billabong jacket is white, with some orange words. hahas! mann. i think im in love with this colour combination. ((x
went macs to pig out, and i got this super huge big enormous cup of sprite. OMG. den we start'd eating and fillin our stomaches. ahhahs. den jacq and i start'd takin pic. lol. yepp. dumdeedum. den we left macs, feeling BLOATED =X
right now, im bored. ahahs. my dad jus took down the luggage, remindin me tt slt is exactly ONE WEEK AWAY. ): but, im not really exactly HIGH bout the trip. hahas. but den again, with valerie and jacq and clarence and rueben, i think the trip will be a cool one. ((x

tags replies:
zhengxian>hahas. rubbish! youve got F and J and T cans! oh, plus S? hehes. and tahnk me for wat? i should be the one thankin you! hahas. ((x thanks so so so much for the jacket!! hahas. ((: LOVE!

the rainbow without the colours;

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Friday, February 24, 2006;

♥ 2/24/2006 07:35:00 AM

no longer shotuing at each other
there were tears on our faces
and we were letting go of something special
something we will enver have again
i know
i guess i really really know>>

initially i was really high and hyper and stuff. til someone mention'd ~~AHEM~~. i dunno. somethings inside me jus went crashin down and im no longer hyper and mad like before already. sighhs. why isit tt u still create this hell load of trouble in my life? oh bother, ~~god~~ the one above, whoever you are. please please please, get me out of this dilemma.
sometimes i really wonder, would u sometimes stop your footsteps in life, and think of the moments we created last time. would u even bother to think of me. would you bloody hell care to do tt? bleahhh.
i hate this feeling. really i do. firrgin' irritian yeas?
when you wanna forget tt person , yet you realis'd you cant. when you truly deeply love someone, when time fades, all you could rmbr is how nice the person is, how sweet the person is, and how hapy life was with him. how figgin' true is this statement. i wih'd i could be remind'd of some mean things bout you, so i have a reason to hate you. but every now and then, when i search'd my heart, i realis'd i could only rmbr your sweetness.
tell me, youre happy now. and give me tt smile, from the bottom of your heart.
f c u k life.

ive been missin you so much
i have to say;

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Monday, February 20, 2006;

♥ 2/20/2006 08:35:00 PM

cros smy heart and tell no lies
no one's leavin you behind
jus becos we said goodbye baby
cross my heart i do believe
in my hopes and in my dreams
i'll be takin you with me baby>>

okays. its 12plus in the mornin. and im still wide awake, away from my bed and sittin here typing away. and its a school night. WTH. urghhh
great. see me fallin asleep tml den. hmms
anyways. amaths was urghhhh. TIRING. ahhas. how could it not be? when youre to stand up the whole of the lesson? =X bleahhh. den got lifeskills. ahahahas. had ice-breakers. okays. it was cool. hahas. the sec5s are great. friendly and stuff, though they are really CLIQUE-KY. hahas. but still, ((: play'd this blow-wind-blow game. hahas. end'd up sitting next to joel and gavin. wait. i think so. =X hahas. hmms. in the lesson-plannin committee. hahahas. so my knowledge of lesson plan finally can be put to use le. =p
after school. immediately. went off with carissa. took jab. URGHHH. i need sweets. =p
so i went home. fell asleep at 4plus til bout 7. hahas.
=X
mann. call me a pig! (:

maybe. i jus wanna be single now. hahas. everytime i find myself likin someone, i will jus go 'wenfang! are u nuts?! u know bout those fail'd relationships u had!' and the next thing i know, im no totally in close contact with tt person. and POOF! tts it. hahas. hmms. wells. and its cool, being single and not lookin and stuff. hmms. i jus dont wanna be in love NOW. or maybe, something, OR SOMEONE is still occupyin my heart. bleahhs. but still, wats the big deal? its not like i told such a news tt affect'd the whole world or wat. tts plain crazy. haahs. and AHEM. yea. i hope you get it! hahas. ((x

you caught me completely off guard;

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Sunday, February 19, 2006;

♥ 2/19/2006 07:49:00 AM

if you get there before i do
dont give up on me
i'll meet you when my chores are thru
i dunno how long i'll be
but im not gonna let you down
darling wait and see
and between now and then
til i see you again
i'll be loving you
love, me>>

okays. let me continue. (:
...
its not like i've never seen injuries like that before, but i duno why m i so tens'd up today. hahas. maybe cos of my post today wat. but owells. (: with the help of every single first aider ESP NIRMA AND BRANDON. things still went well! hahas.
omg. theres this girl WHO IS SO SUPER POOR THING yea. she so terribly scare of pain and i jus couldnt bring myself to dress her wound. hahas. but in the end i did, and she tear'd. the next thing i know, this parent came and SNATCH'D that twizzer off my hands and said come! let me do it she us'd so much strenght and omg. the girl literally jus cri'd out. hah! so poor thing!! =X
hmms. first aid base wasnt exactly TT busy, compar'd to previous years. though this yr, we had many more SERIOUS cases. hmms. this girl had either a SUPER BAD muscle cramp, or a hamstring pull, or simply, she jus sprain her whole left thigh. the moment one finger lays onto her thigh, she would go screamin away. so gave her this ice pack, and we kinda insist'd tt she MUST see a doc. hmms. another was shivering all over and gosh, her condition was really terrible. and JACQ!! wat the hell happen'd to you mans. urghh. ):
hmms. so the races all end'd. and guess wat? to our not-at-all surprise. redcross werent thank'd again at all! hahas. but wells, its the joy we all feel inside when we managed to catch someone before they fall flat onto the ground. before they suffer from an infection from their wounds. and the list goes on. hahas. so yepp. first aiders of the day! give yourself a tap on the shoulder! ((:
so after everything end'd. we clear'd up the area and had debrief. hmms. by the time it end'd, practically everyone was clear'd from the area le. hahas. urghhh. bring the first few to arriv'd and last few to go back. ):
sat mr heng's van back with nirma. gee, mr tan! im a cargo ha-ha-ha. -.-
went back school, brought the first aid things with fion huiling and nirma. hahas. we went crappin in the redcross room. and nirma jus wouldnt stop teasin me. AWW JUS SHUTUP! mrs laffy. =X -runs away.

hahas. haven been exactly feeling well durin after x-country. hmm. dizzy and stuff. urghh. ): terrible feeling ehhs, when you want to vomit. but totally no shit wanna come out from your mouth. EEWKS. =X
alrights, i cant afford to get sick! hahas. gonna take the jab on mon i think. blechhs. i dont wanna suffer from a aching arm, after seein all my frens being so 'exhuasted' by it? lol. -stares at joshualim. hmms, and val, spare me from the punches. =p

sometimes
i still yearn for a shoulder
for me to fall asleep on;

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Saturday, February 18, 2006;

♥ 2/18/2006 10:01:00 AM

ii cant explain, no no
how the joy youve given me has turn'd to pain
see im not gonna cry no more baby
im walking out the door baby
theres one thing i know for sure
yeah yeah yeah, baby>>

i jus bathe. hahas. my hair smells so good now. ((:
oh okays. x-country 06 jus end'd. hahas. well done first aiders. hahas. despite some screw'd ups here and there, still overall, everything went well. (:
and guess wat? before EVERYTHING start'd. one casualty came to find us already. OMG. lol
okays. nirma and i become the receiver. lol. stood at the finishin line, ready to catch any runners who fell. brandon was left alone with the rest at the base. hahas. wells. other dan havinso many blockin the way tt we find it hard to help the casuaties out of the route and stuff, other things went rather smoothly. hmms.
den i saw DJ comin in! edmund zhengxian stanley kong cheryl fiona mary valerie comin in. whees! ((: ahahas.
okays. so casualties started comin in too. hmms.
...
cant use the com now. urghh. PPL! whoever, if u see this post, call me out! cos im so totally bored of stayin at home.
WRAHHH. )):

cos i thought
i saw you again;

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

;

♥ 2/18/2006 07:16:00 AM

i wish i could tell you
im feeling better everyday
that it din hurt me
when you walked away
but to tell you the truth
i cant find my way
and deep inside
i feel like im dying
i have to see you
its all that im asking>>

okays. im actually rather hyper and happy.
UNTIL i recevi'd a msg from her.
i shan said who tt is. but all i can say it that im really disappoint'd. to the extent tt i felt betray'd. but shucks. i know i cant blame her cos she doesnt want it this way too.
but urghhh. wat can i say? nth i do or say could chaneg things anymore, rights? sighs.
owells. i will jus leave tml's matters to whoever tts above. and please, let everything goes well tml.
cos i dont want any history to repeat itself.
please.
jus this once.

i always look back
as i walk away;

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

;

♥ 2/18/2006 06:04:00 AM

but only love can say
try again and walk away
but i believe
for you and me
the sun will shine one day
so i just play my part
and pray tt you will have a change of heart
but i cant make you see it thru
thats smth only love can do>>

HAPPY V DAY! ((: though tt rather belat'd! hahas. ((x
anyways. thanks for all ya gifts! ((: lol. i lov'd them. as in, seriously. y'all like my MARS and DOVE chocs too, dont ya? hahas. =p
and ii receiv'd the v day gift from clarence today. lol. how EARLY! ((:

hmms. tutor went to extract her wisdom tooth today. like OMG. she describ'd everything during tt op. and its so. BLOODY! urghh.

hmms. had weekly trainin today. ahhas. its cool. (:
total defence with ncc is totally HILIARIOUS. i tell you, with jokers like HOSEACHOO. desmondwong. KANGYONGZHI. shaungan.chenzhengxian. hahas. lesson was fun. ((: ~~cept for those irritain rumours~~. bleahhhhh. okays. but due to some delays -stares at shaun gan. test was postpon'd to maybe next wed or thurs. since theres a event gg on on fri. hmms.

tml's x-country. meeting yuliang chanel nirma at 6. omg. i have this super duper ultra strong feeling i will oversleep! so someone, jus anyone. WAKE UP CALL PLEASE! ((x

AND URGHHH!!
JACQ YOU JUS SENT ME A DUMB LINK WHICH TOTALLY FREAK ME OUT. goodness. )):
so i turn'd the speakers up cos the song was rather SOFT. and when i BLAST those speakers. the com went AHHHHHHHHHH at me. and i got freak'd out. and i went AHHHHHHHHH-in back at it. ahhas. and my dad whos in the toilet came. WAT HAPPEN?!
mann. jacq! u caus'd so much trouble! tsktsk. -shakes head.

im so not in the mood to blog already. cos im totally freaked out. JACQ if i dont dare to wake up in the middle of the night tonight. dont dare to walk to the toilet tonight. cant sleep tonight. have nightmares tonight. youre so gonna dead! URGHHHH.

and i hope youre as happy
as youre pretendin to be;

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Monday, February 13, 2006;

♥ 2/13/2006 06:01:00 AM

mirror mirror hanging on the wall
you dont have to tell me
whos the biggest fool of all
mirror mirror i wish you could lie to me
and bring my baby back
bring my baby back to me>>

some said this to me wenfang. are you blogging? why NO?!
okies. back by POPULAR DEMAND. heres goes my post. ((:

arranged to meet szemian val zhihao and zhengxian at jp today. so my bro and i went down to jp and i receiv'd a call from zhihao saying he's at jp already. so we said to meet each other outside kfc. after a full 5 mins talk on the phone. tt silly ass was at the wrong venue. to the extent tt he thought JP WAS AT JURONG EAST. like wth. mann, zhihao, you ~~rock~~.
okies, so met up with szemian first, before we go control station to meet zhengxian. blahblahblah, val came, and tt silly ass came.
went shopping . wait. i meant budget shopping. serious. we went to shop for gifts that were really CHEAP. =X ahahahas. shopshopshop. and the guys went acrade. -.-
dumdeedum. finally we got smth. and then we went to get BALLS to eat. (: OCTOPUS BALLS. =p and guess who we met? TAN ELIS! hahas. i love that girl. she was with her same-age-niece. like, yea. cool. so we went fairprice afterthat, thinkin tt thats the place with the cheapest chocs? lol. and we saw DUOBLES. mary and martha. and szemian! youre actually dating US okies! not the AHEM you were talkin to on the phone so-ever-sweetly! wat on earth are u thinkin bout mans! ahahahs. elis joined us shortly after that. and zhihao and zhengxian left, without sayin goodbye. HAH! wat gentlemen. -.-
den we went back to valueshop to get gifts. and giftland to get smth. and we deicid'd to go off. lol. anyways. szemian got this super gross book. which ~~should~~ MUST be rated ~~nc16~~.~~m18~~.R21. yupp. it was HOW SICK tt book was. yet, i see elis and val enjoy'd themselves though. HAHAHAHA.
i really thinnk theres smth bout elis which makes me love her. HAHA. we arent not TT close. to the extent tt we always stick tgt, ahng around often, talk often or smth. its jus tt, everytime when we are tgt. we would tend to talk bout each other's lives. and, we would still stay close. hahas. and i think tts COOL! ((: and i got to know her lil secret. hehe. ((x
so val and elis went off to take bus. szemian and my bro and i went to take mrt. (:
so szemian and i were talkin bout the usual stuff. but we were really careful. to not let my bro hear. HAHAS. =p how lame. hmms
>>sometimes, in life. you made mistakes, mistakes tt make you regret. regret leetin them slip away, or allowin them to enter into your life. and sometimes, when you let something that will make you smile go, you will YEARNED so much for a second chance, and often, that second doesnt come. ): sometimes, when things have to come to an end, you will often complain and grumble. that you should do this and that, while you still can. you should be this and that, when that person is still there for you. and the list goes on. hahas. you will tend to aiyah. i should have been....so it wont end but then, think again. everything WILL come to an end. cos to me, theres really nothing much in the world tt will last forever. (: and ppl. you see tt smiley face, its not becos im not upset anymore. its jus maybe, cos im used to the upset-ness, that makes me numbed already. hahas. cos in MY DICTIONARY, the word forever doesnt really exist. or at least, not now.

cos im dead on the inside
ever since that day
i let you slip'd away;

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Thursday, February 09, 2006;

♥ 2/09/2006 07:45:00 PM

theres always that one person
that will always have your heart
you never see it coming
'cos youre blind'd from the start
know that youre that one for me
its clear for everyone to see
ohh baby
you will always be my boo>>

ii couldnt slp last night. nose was block'd like anything. and ii couldnt breathe thru nose. and tts PATHETIC. ):
ii got up from my bed at bout 620. and ii NEARLY fell. hahas. so my mum said the magic words.
dont go school alrights? ii bring you go see doc ltr.
HAHAHAS. and those magic words led to fact that now im still at home resting, while my poor classmates aer doin TITRAION or watsoever. wahhahahas. gee. i find myself being mean. =X
okies. ii jus realis'd ii haven been touchin my books and studi'd anything for the past 2 days. hahas. so ii guess i will study today. and ii meant STUDY! hahahahas.
anyways, ENSHAO-NY! hahas. im so gonna pray for you. you want'd 14? i will tell the one above to give you thirteen points den. see? im nice. alrights. make sure you come towards me with tt stupid smirk on your face and wav'd your cert in front of me. and scream into my ears WENNY!! II'VE GOT 13 POINTS! yeas? make sure you do! hahas. see ya soon.
anyways.
last night on msn val and i were being lame
ME>>valerie chua. im runnin a temp of 38.4. how cool! temperature can RUN!
VAL>>den go chase and run after it! hahas cool hor? i like my joke lor!
ME>>but cannot. rmbr, human's normal runnin speed is 37.5km/hr. now its 38.4km/hr. very fast. i cant catch it. how?
LOL. yes. now, LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF.

ii guess ii was weak
and couldnt even hide it
and so ii surrender jus to hear your voice;

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

;

♥ 2/09/2006 05:45:00 AM

spiltting headache. burning forehead. block'd nose. sore thraot. itchy throat which makes me wanna cough all the time.

urghhh.

i think im ill. ):

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006;

♥ 2/07/2006 07:33:00 AM

tell me
have you ever lov'd and lost somebody
wish'd there was a chance to say im sorry
cant you see
thats the way ii feel bout you and me baby
have you ever felt your heart was breakin
lookin down the road you should be takin
ii should know
cos i lov'd and lsot
the day ii let you go>>

look what happen'd online.

When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things. says:
when u ggoing off?
When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things. says:
when u ggoing off?
When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things. says:
when u ggoing off?
When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things. says:
when u ggoing off?
When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things. says:
when u ggoing off?
When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things. says:
when u ggoing off?
// w . f a n g` _brokenwingswillHEALoneday.andSOARuphigh.MUCHHIGHER. says:
i dunno.
When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things. says:
when u ggoing off?
When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things. says:
when u ggoing off?
When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things. says:
when u ggoing off?
When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things. says:
when u ggoing off?
When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things. says:
when u ggoing off?
When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things. says:
when u ggoing off?
When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things. says:
when u ggoing off?
When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things. says:
when u ggoing off?
When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things. says:
when u ggoing off?
When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things. says:
when u ggoing off?
When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things. says:
when u ggoing off?
When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things. says:
when u ggoing off?
// w . f a n g` _brokenwingswillHEALoneday.andSOARuphigh.MUCHHIGHER. says:
stop askin u fool!

thanks arhs. zhengxian. =/

anyways. my life's aint tt great nowadays. i dunno. problems here and problems there. and the thing is, im still tryin HARD, really HARD, to find out the solutions to every single problems. but yeas, soemtimes, its tough. ):
the weird thing is. everyone around me though im alrights. so they start'd tellin me rubbish and stuff. and thuse, occupyin more of my brain cells and my mind and. URGHHH. one day, i swear, i will explode!
)):

to szemian> my best-est friend.be sad no more ehhs? i cant stand you. u like to bottled up everything inside of you! dear, its jus so not right. pour everything out, and you will feel yourself ledin a better life. cheer up yeas? ((: dont get sad over a guy who isnt worth it. yeas? he who dont treasure you, dont deserve you. put tt big fat smile back onto your face. the one tts truly from your heart. ((: i miss'd it.
to jacqueline> you too dear. be sad no more. ((: u still have all of us by your side. you know our lendin hands are always dere, you know our listenin ears are always present.
to both of you> i know i can do much to make you two feel happy. but, jus take comfort in knowin that im always around. i care. and most of all. when everyone seems to be fadin away, i will stand still, by you. ((:
>LOVE!

i dont wanna be the one to fall
again;

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Saturday, February 04, 2006;

♥ 2/04/2006 07:45:00 AM

my mind is spinning round and round
thers something special ive found
everytime i close my eyes
all i can think of is you and me
oh baby cant you see>>

on thursday afternoon. i was rather corner'd by these two acjc guys.
them>hey! you're AHEM* friend rights?
i> huh?
them> we know you're AHEM* friend la! buy funfair tix from us!!
i> what?
them> buy lehhs! AHEM* bought tix from us already ehhs. and since you're his friends. must buy also!
i> i bought from my cousin already. sorrys.
and then ii simply walk'd around them, rollin my eyes. yea, like wth.
LAME SHIT. i would have bought it from them. IF they din mention'd AHEM* name. wrahh. besides, is there like, any link??
NO!

physics test was erms. i dunno. hahas., i could do the Q, esp for the magnetism. i meant, i could do the questions! what im afraid of is, i did them all wrongly. hahas. how shitty can this get. blechhs.

had redcross weekly meeting today. omg! those sec1s are so adorable! hahas. =X and hellos jkong sister! ((:
half the time spent with the sec1s, i was busy teasin her. lol. the other half, laughin at aaron's lame-ness. LOL. my. this batch, they are so cute! dumdeedum today recre's was FUN FUN FUN!! had a 'fruits ball' before? replacin the basketball with fruits? havin oranges went splattered onto the floor and one another's shirt? lol. its was ROWDY! ((x
FRUITS FIGHT!! urghhh.

ohh. after tt was SLT briefin. okays. i was FREEZIN in tt darn lecture threater. omg. the aircon is like directly blowin at me. brrr. i HATE my seat. ):
anyways, ms yeo and ms thio swap'd. ms thio in yunnan, ms yeo in nepal. now nepal and yunnan will be takin the same plabe to bangkok. den chang'd to diff planes? aiyo. so mafan. i kinda dread'd gg SLT. wait. dont ask me WHY. cos i really dunno. ):

i think im out of my mind.

maybe
part of me still wants you back;

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.

Friday, February 03, 2006;

♥ 2/03/2006 07:32:00 AM

so much ii need to say
been so lonely since the day
the day you went away
so sad but true
for me theres only you
been crying since the day
the day you went away>>

im suddenly lookin for all the m2m songs. hahas. blechhs.
anyways, HAPPY NEW YEAR PEEPS. ((:
dumdeedum.
oh yea. leon nicktang chanel yunxing and i went ms yeo and ms tai's places to visit on tues. lol. saw a totally diff side of them and it was really cool =X hehe. esp ms yeo. and i saw jkong childhood pic! im so gonna blackmail him. hehe.
but still, the happy part bout cny06 is tt i get to meet up with all my cousins and relatives! ((:
to shiqianjiejie. jie! you use'd to be my best cousin. hahas. i dunno what happen over the years, we jus got so so so drift'd apart. ): i still rmbr every sunday you came over, we would play 'COOKING GAME'. i still rmbr the time when my belove'd crocodile bloster was torn, you went to get a new one for me. i still rmbr those times, when we were young. hahas. we jus got so use'd with each other's presence and we were so close like sisters. but not anymore. ): im tryin to get close to you durin cny. i see that you tri'd too. i jus wanna say this. jie. i miss you and your love. ((:

alrights. i dunno wat the hell is wrong with me today. i jus felt so drain'd. ): sighhs. and theres so many stuff thats occupying the limit'd space in my brain now. sighhs.
i dunno. i need some words of encouragement, i guess i need to talk to my girlfriend.

i really hope i dont care bout you anymore. but why isit tt everytime i tried my best to turn around, theres a urge inside of me to make me fall back down again. )): i dunno. ive been havin mix'd feelings ever since you left. i could jolly well act strong and jus pretend you dont exist. but somehow, i dont have the stregth to do so. not now, at least. i dunno. im jus, too loss for words.

go on
turn around and get out thru the door
of cos not
i dont wan you to see me fall;

&maybe things will be fine after awhile.